After completing my MFA in Contemporary Performance at Naropa University, I spent the summer of 2017 in NYC studying at Stella Adler Studio for Acting. When I arrived, they were preparing for a presentation of a new play, Loving and Loving, which told the tale of the interracial couple that ensured that their right to live as husband and wife was upheld while striking down all remaining state bans on interracial marriage. To launch the production, the Adler Studio held a panel discussion on what it was like to be mixed race in America today. The panel featured Fanshen Cox Digiovanni, a performer and playwright who has been touring her one-woman show, One Drop of Love. After the public discussion, Fanshen hung out to answer any extra questions anyone in the room had.
--I boldly decided to speak with her.
I mentioned Naropa to her, and the fact that my experience there had been a rude awakening to me as a white presenting and identifying individual; that I had realized how a lack of self-awareness actually supports systems of racism and that, as an artist and activist, it was an important subject that I really wanted to address with my own work. "BUT... I'm white," I stated. "Is it appropriate for me to take the space to address racism when I have never experienced it myself?" Her response was beautiful: "Absolutely, but tell YOUR story."
Long story short, I came across a Scale of Racism containing phrases that I found fascinating as a potential guide for a dramatization around my own racial awareness. When I decided to move back to Tucson, AZ, I discovered they were accepting applications for their 2018 Fringe Festival, put my name in just to see what would happen, and lo and behold the fates (Tucson Fringe Board) literally pulled my name out of a hat.
I created and produced the show in about 3 months. I was terrified, but after some backlash on social media paired with positive feedback from those that actually experienced it, I chose to submit it to the Boulder Fringe Festival. I kind of saw it as an opportunity for me to "bring it home" so to speak.
As a lover of musical theatre, voice work has always been an area of interest for me. Studying Roy Hart Extended Voice Technique during my graduate work at Naropa University gave me a new lens through which to consider vocal work. I was surprised at how effective the techniques were in supporting the growth of my vocal strength and range. Extended voice technique works with the body to invite the voice into the unknown, rather than asking the body to conform to more formal techniques. Through exploring the edges of my vocal capacities, as well as my vocal break, I came into a deeper connection with the range of expression I had available as a performer.
Something that continues to come up for me is the awareness that many sounds have emotional associations, such as a wail that evokes grief. This sound is particularly jarring when it escapes the body. I believe this is, in part, due to our society discouraging us from using it. When we are grieving, we often hold in our emotions and stifle the sounds that our bodies want to express, usually for the comfort of others around us. I began to contemplate the psychological impact of this behavior, even beyond grief. How often do conditioned social cues prevent us from expressing ourselves truthfully and authentically as human beings? How many times have we opened our mouths to say something, only to stop ourselves? Sometimes we never let that thought out, and instead, we internalize whatever it was we wanted to express, causing it to have an even deeper physiological impact on us. I chose to explore some of these questions in my thesis performance, crafting a journey through sounds and movement that were simply constructed but tapped into profound emotional energies when they filled a space and were heard by others.
In Buddhism, the term bodhicitta is translated as "awakening mind" or "thought of enlightenment," and it represents the commitment to embark on a path of awakening. To be a bodhisattva is to dedicate oneself to the liberation of all beings through this commitment to awakening. Some will say it is taking on suffering for the benefit of others so that they do not have to. This was the inspiration for the title of my thesis as I focused my artistic inquiry on questioning if and how the journey I constructed for myself and my performers could serve as a proxy for the audience to confront their own reservations around sharing their voices. The ultimate goal was for the audience to walk away feeling inspired and empowered to share their voices compassionately and authentically.
Adapted from A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
Preliminary Script by Claire Marie Mannle
Devised by Rick Wamer, China Young, and the Premier Ensemble
Directed by Rick Wamer
Assistant Director: China Young
The Scoundrel & Scamp Theatre - Tucson, AZ
Written & Directed by Eugenia Woods
Assistant Director: China Young
YWCA Stand Together Arizona Training & Advocacy Center
Tucson, AZ
Written & Directed by Leigh Fondakowski
Role: Ensemble
Naropa University - Boulder, CO
Written by Eugenia Woods
Directed By Marc Pinate
Role: Chorus
Photos by Patrick Baum
Taproot Productions with ZUZI! Dance Theatre - Tucson, AZ
Written by Margie Pignataro
Directed by Paul Fillingim
Role: Tiger Lily
Photos By Paul Fillingim
Experimental Artist's Theatre (EAT) - Lubbock, TX
Written by Margie Pignataro
Directed by Topher Payne
Role: Alice
Photos By Topher Payne
Experimental Artist's Theatre (EAT) - Lubbock, TX